Friday, June 15, 2012

Let's join PAS, they can defer your death!

I've been thinking of joining PAS. As a member, I will enjoy many privileges, including a free ticket to the moon.

Among the benefits I would enjoy as a PAS member are:

1.   No matter how much I have sinned, I will straight away go to heaven when I die.

2.   My Islam is much better than that of those in Umno and other parts of the world.

3.   I can postpone or defer my haj pilgrimage for the sake of politics.

4.   I can also defer my solat to help my party leaders in their political campaigns.

5.   I can defer visiting the sick or dead as PAS' politics is above everything.

6.   I can defer my Friday prayer to next week or next month in the name of politics.

7.   I can also ask God to defer my death until my party wins the next general election.

8.   I am free to support Bersih as long as Pakatan Rakyat wins the national poll.

9.   I can issue any fatwa to protect my party and to woo more support.

10. I can sit and mix freely with those who want to tear the country apart in the name of 'jihad'.

11. I  am allowed to sell Malay lands in Kelantan to the non-Malays via a convert.

12. I don't mind the country plunges into turmoil and bloodshed as long as PAS rules.

13. In Pakatan, actually PAS is the dominant party, so DAP and PKR must shut up!

14. We will implement 'hudud'. Doesn't matter if DAP rejects it.

15. I don't have to to worry about anything; God will safe us all in the party.

There are more. You readers should think about it.

So, come on buddies! Let's join PAS today!

15 comments:

kalianam said...

aiyooo maaa!!!!

can I join too, as an Indian?

i want them to defer my wedding because i dont like mu future wife!

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaah!!!!

u forgot another thing - as a member, i can easily marry 4 without the permission of my 1st!

right?

excellent party!

penangan said...

salam tn,

patutkah kita menangguhkan pemergian ke tanah suci hanya kerana politik?

andai kata kita sudah tua dan uzur, dapatkah kita peluang untuk ke sana pada tahun berikutnya?

pas nampaknya dah makin songsang!

awang hadi said...

i used to respect nik aziz as an ulama.

however, ever since he joined PKR and DAP in pakatan rakyat, i regretted it.

pas has deviated from its original platform, which was to introduce an islamic nation.

what will become of pas next?

maizatul said...

saya tak berapa pandai soal hukum-hakam ni tapi dalam soal haji ni, bukan semua orang mampu. ia satu ibadat dalam rukun islam. kalau ditakdirkan ini saja peluang yg ada untuk ke tanah suci, maka terlepaslah hajat tu.

saya tak faham kenapa pas perlu membuat kenyataan sedemikian. hanya kerana politik, ia sanggup menghalalkan yang haram dan mengharamkan mana yang halal.

sedih rasanya...

yellow river said...

righto bro.

they can do lot of wonders!

if they can promise that i would not be charged in court of allah, i will join them.

can they deliver that promise?

Anonymous said...

i thot they also support LGBT.

wow!

what a wonderful islamic party!

mat gombau said...

jai,

apo nak buek, taik kambing bulat-bulat.

pas dah menyongsang abih dah. apo nak jadi dgn parti ni, tak taulah.

den maleh nak cakap banyak, cumo dalam bab haji ni, kito patut ketopikan hal lain bilo dah sampai soghu.

buek eh kito tangguh dan mati taon dopen, sapo nak jawab di padang mashyar nanti?

Anonymous said...

patutlah pelacuran dah meningkat di kelantan.

di kl dan tempat lain pun, ramai pelacur dan gro yg ditangkap dalam serbuan pihak berkuasa, adalah dari kelantan.

agaknya pas dah halalkan maksiat ni kot!

tukang picit said...

PAS - parti anak setan!

memang setan btol!

ada ke boleh tunda naik haji semata-mata nak mengundi.

otak jenis apa diorang ni?

aku yg tak sekolah ni pun faham gak hal agama ni sikit2!

Anonymous said...

Kalianam sir, if you dont want your future wife. Send her to counselling with PAS Ustaz in the KTM midnight train bunker. Surely it will delay your wedding forever..

masih di BH said...

jai,

kalau kau masuk pas, gerenti kau buleh jadi mursyidul am punya!

aku gerenti la. kau bukan je boleh cakap arab, boleh cakap siam....heheheeh!!!!

Anonymous said...

betul la.

jom ramai2 masuk pas. semua boleh masuk syurga. buat la dosa besar banyak mana pun, berzina, menyamun, menipu, makan riba, makan harta anak yatim, rogol bini orang dab lain2, sure masuk syurga kalau bernaung bawah pas!

azmer said...

Jai,

kau dah terlambat utk join. kalau awal2 dulu join, silap2 dah boleh jadi ceo harakah :D kalau boleh berceramah lagi bagus, automatik dapat title ustaz. kalau boleh cakap arab & hafal ayat alquran mana2 yg patut boleh dapat title tuan guru. Boleh bagi fatwa lagi. part tafsir tu, don't worry. just give your own version. if questioned by "Ulama Upahan UMNO" nanti ada je macai yg akan back-up siap dengan hadith sekali yg pastinya their versionlah. by now you should know that anyone who questioned fatwa PAS is Ulama Upahan UMNO. The best part masuk PAS ni dosa boleh clear. sebab tu orang yg pernah kena tangkap khalwat boleh jadi deputy pres. just imagine kalau hadi's time is up mid-term, he would be leading an "islamic" party.... coool eh.....

Anonymous said...

Haaa sorry la jai I tak boleh join you nanti hilang income I. Sekarang ni melailui my blog I buleh cari makan.... boleh tulis macam2 mengenai PAS nanti dapat upah...tak masyuk....kah.. kah..kah...